A Journey of Mutual Training: My Experience with Training My Retriever

Introduction

It is believed in certain circles that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. At one time, I too would have believed this to be true. Although that was before I discerned the art of persistent patience.

‍I didn’t set out to train my own retriever, experience suggested that it was better to leave that up to a professional. However, life had other plans. Shortly before she was to begin her training, a pay cut and eventual job loss left me with few options. Faced with this new reality, I found myself embarking down a path of apprehension at the opportunity to erase past failures.

‍She wasn’t my first Labrador; there were a handful of others before her. Each one, I would eventually discover, was a representation of the growth a man can make. When the intention for continuous improvement is guided by the recognition that the only person left to prove something to is yourself, notable growth can be achieved. Their memories paved the way, leaving an impression on what will one day be the final outcome—a reflection that parallels the process of a hunter's journey and the five steps of success: preparation, patience, persistence, adaptation, and reflection.

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‍The Realization and First Step‍

After doing my research from various training videos and sources, I consulted with a few reputable professionals and recognized the process had become more sophisticated, hence, more confusing since my last efforts some thirteen years ago. YouTube and social media only added to my own apprehension. Needless to say, things had changed a lot since I last read Wolters’ Water Dog, and I began to consume more information to make the best decision on what direction to take. As I sifted through more content, I began to shape my own thoughts and started the process on what I felt best worked for me. These ideas reflected my identity, life experiences, realistic expectations of my abilities, and a resonating awareness of my weaknesses. Borrowing pieces from Dokken, Atkin, Dog Bone Hunter, and Stonnie Dennis I started out.

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Building the Bond

I knew in my heart that I wanted not only a steady retriever I could be proud of in the duck blind but also one that would accompany me on my many adventures in the field. What I began to unravel was that what I was seeking was a companion, one that would be there to watch the fall sky’s with, fish, and hike throughout the seasons, and carve a trail with snowshoes when the snow and ice set in. What I would eventually develop was an unbreakable bond, unlike the past when a younger man was controlled by his own misgivings, quick to punish rather than seek out moments to praise. Even though her pedigree indicated she had the intellect to compete in hunt tests, what I desired wasn’t a field trial champion but rather something that bore a closer resemblance to Old Yeller. The first and hardest step was developing the confidence in my convictions knowing I no longer needed the satisfaction of others’ approval.

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Trials and Triumphs

Through the process, now in its third season, I have made many mistakes. Together we’ve probably made more strides in reverse than we’ve progressed. I’ve had to change verbiage to eliminate confusion, forego retriever skills for weeks at a time to reintroduce disciplines that were missed in the early stages. There were setbacks due to injuries, work-related time constraints, and my own shortcomings and trepidations. One of these was trusting myself to use an E-collar as a means of correction rather than corporal discipline. Through these failures, together we found our way forward, and though there were frustrations, my determination to stay patient eventually provided the catalyst for continued development. A little over a year ago, I was about to give up on a training session as I felt a hint of anger building due to the shortcomings we were having that evening. Having conceded to the struggles that were impeding the session, and without the pressure to get it right, I must have relaxed enough that my tone eased, giving her renewed vigor in what we were meaning to accomplish. I watched as the look of confusion receded from her body language and the desire to please me swelled in her eyes. It was then that I realized she was not put into my life for me to train, but rather the opposite. From that moment, I became totally aware of how much my emotions were vital in developing her overall confidence in daily training.

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Learning and Growing Together

During our time together, I learned not only about training a retriever but also a deeper appreciation and a renewed confidence in my abilities. I discovered tolerance, resilience, and the deeper connection that can form between a human and their canine companion. I prepared myself for a course where the final outcome is not measured by ribbons and trophies and a stamp on a pedigree. Rather, I set a trajectory for a lifelong journey where we would both continue to learn and grow together. I was unaware when I started that the process would have a cathartic effect helping me to overcome my own personal struggles. While discovering a balance between the anxieties that still persist from an undesirable past and the perseverance to stay committed to a path of personal progression.

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Oakley's Unique Spirit

Oakley, or "O" as she is affectionately referred to by my wife, would be considered by most in the retriever community to be stubborn. However, I have come to understand it as loyal independence. She does not possess a gentle gene, and she retrieves a bumper with reckless abandon. She tends to go at her own pace when the mood suits her, and she likes to flaunt her skills before returning to heel and offering the bird to hand. I can only guess she does this to measure up whether I have stayed true to my convictions. Often, I wonder if there is a higher calling at work, as if the spirits of those that preceded her have become intertwined and show themselves in the eyes of my latest companion. It is in those eyes that I recognized the only thing stronger than her unimaginable drive is her desire to please.

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 Reflection and Conclusion

Looking back on this journey, I am proud of what we’ve achieved and am inspired to witness the finished product. Outside of my 32 years of marriage and the two sons we raised to call ourselves family, training Oakley has been one of the most rewarding accomplishments in my life. For anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation, know that with dedication, patience, purpose, and the willingness to fail you can achieve more than you ever imagined.

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Series Introduction: Dog Training and Personal Growth

In the coming months, I will dive deeper into the methods and philosophies I developed through this journey. These approaches go against many conventional beliefs in training circles but have proven invaluable to me. I aim to reveal these successes, not only to share effective training techniques but also to help those struggling with their own struggles, short tempers and anxieties.

Stay tuned as we explore the intersections of dog training, personal growth, and the unique bond that can transform both human and canine lives.

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*I would like to thank Kyle Fagler of Guide Choice Retrievers for his kindness and support.

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